The Moribund People
by Kount Xero
Summary: Each and every one of them deserved to die because of the crimes they had committed against him but he too remembered the promise he had taken from one of them, a promise that bound them together even at the end of all hope... as it had before.
1. Prologue: Death Is

"**_The Moribund People"_**

_Author's Note: "The Moribund People" is the final part of "The Symptoms Trilogy" which is made of "Symptoms of Mercy", "Mind Fields", and this one. I don't own any of FFVIII, but I DO own the previous events. On another note, the lyrics are from a song by Charon, and its titled as "Little Angel"._

**Prologue: "Death Is..."**

Quistis Trepe stood at the edge of the cave which once was Ayreona's fortress. She tasted the name, and felt the bitterness spreading to her tongue; bitterness towards her crimes, towards all that Ayreona had done... The great power, the greater demise, and ultimate reconciliation. These were the thoughts that swirled around in her head, as the wind blew towards her SeeD uniform, and took her hair away from her face. She looked down onto the soil, where she remembered his words.

"_Quistis... I need you to do something for me."_

She looked up towards the ceiling, the walls of dissonant and disoriented shapes moving upwards, reaching for the peak of her sorrow which was now falling from that peak; falling onto the ground.

"Not fair!" she whispered to the emptiness, and heard her words echoing, as she tasted her tears with them once again, "Not _fair!_"

Suddenly, a sound emerged from her right side. Quistis turned around immediately, pulling out a handgun that she had kept with herself for her own protection; a small dillinger, but still, it was lethal. She focused into the darkness, trying to see, trying to find a shape moving.

Something was coming alive.

Quistis' eyes grew wide as she spotted the shadow that was slowly creeping upwards through the sides of the stone bridge she was on. She could feel cold sweat embracing her body, as a hand pressed against the surface; a hand with broken bones, a hand with bleeding skin, a hand with a cruel grasp to it; the hand of suffering.

"Stay right where you are!" she shouted.

The hand remained still for a few seconds. And then, it tensed, creasing into the soil, it body upon the stone, a body that was shrouded by ripped, black clothes and blood spilling through like various geysers onto his skin. The moment the feet hit the ground, Quistis pulled the trigger. But already this man had pushed the ground to pick up a frantic running pace, one that was not disturbed by the various inconsistencies of the stone, or his bleeding legs. The bullet entered his shoulder and spilled his blood, but he didn't even slow down; he was advancing with a speed that prevented Quistis from shooting a second time; his hand had already grabbed hold of her wrist, and had squeezed it tight enough for her grip on the gun to shake loose. She gasped as she felt his free hand gripping her throat and pressuring her backwards. Through the bloodstained, dirty, yet disheveled hair, Quistis saw a pair of ice-blue eyes that were now burning with a fire inside.

There was an eerie look in those eyes that she knew; something was broken behind, broken, and placed back together wrong, like a porcelain doll... or a soul itself. He tilted his head backwards to throw bits of his hair away from his eyes, and Quistis saw that unmistakable scar shining beneath.

"Squall!" she gasped, her eyes opening wide in shock, her free hand unable to stop his hard grip that was pressuring her windpipe, her body unable to move. Somehow, she knew that his hand that she wished to caress her was about to be the death of her.

"Squall, please..." Quistis begged to him, as he straightened his posture and held her up with one hand, not bothering both of her hands closing in around his wrist as he held her up by the throat.

Quistis could feel the need for breath rising. She found his grip to be merciless, his eyes were still looking at her, but...

_Great Hyne in heaven!_

He was smiling. It was a sadistic smile of ultimate pleasure taken from her pain, and her pain alone. He was smiling... at her Death.

Instinct took over her, and her boot landed onto his nose, breaking it. Quistis sensed a shake in his grip; almost a shiver. Using both feet, she continued to beat onto his nose, all the while, feeling each impact deep inside of her heart; beating her down, down, down, down, down...

Suddenly, Quistis felt his weight leave her, and she managed to land on her feet, saw him retreating, saw him trying to balance the world while trying to wipe the blood and tears... Like a wild animal, he snarled, keeping that smile upon his face.

"Are you going to fight me..?" he asked, his voice still as subtle and serene as before, "My love, when did you start to hate me? Is it because I didn't bring you candy and flowers..?"

"Don't..." Quistis could let out, feeling the thorn crown of misery hanging onto her heart, closing in on her soul and dipping those thorns deeper than anything else could reach.

"But now, my love, if you don't want this, you will let me go... like you let me go as Ayreona took control."

"I can't..." she said, embracing herself, and looking away from him. She could not face this man against whom she had committed so many crimes. She could not push away the guilt, could not ignore the verdict... the guards were coming to take her away.

"Yes you can." He said, keeping up his sickened smile and intense eyes, and walking casually over to her, "And you will, my love."

He knew that he had her. He knew that those two words were more powerful than any weapon he could hold inside of his hands; this weapon on his tongue was more destructive upon her; far more than any other thing was. He chuckled.

"We'll meet again, my love..." he said, and brushed past her, leaving her desolate in her own downward spiral. Quistis turned her head to hear what Squall was humming a bit better, to understand, to find a clue or the whole truth.

He was singing.

"_Little angel  
__Your world can be so cruel  
__I set your wings on fire every night  
__I die for you every time I see you cry..."_

Thus he left... leaving Quistis hanging atop a knife, desolate and spinning inside herself; lost, in that distinct sense of belonging and memoirs of that feeling.


	2. 1: Touch of Truth

"**_The Moribund People"_**

**1: "Touch of Truth"**

**November 3**

The rain was gentle, the rain was harsh, the rain was cold, the rain was warm, and the rain was there, and it was not. It was duality that he now was in, desperate in himself to find a way through the opaque, yet transparent blur that was now infesting his vision. It was all a haze; and he was unable to find his way through the changing walls of his path; the walls, the shapes and faces all appeared distorted and somehow distant; moving in and out of his vision, changing shape, bending, straightening, shortening and finding natural extensions. He was crawling on his hands and knees, but yet, the rain had not swallowed him completely just yet.

"Look at him!"

"Is he homeless?"

"I think I recognize him from somewhere..."

The whispers were surrounding him. But to his ears, they appeared dissonant like the world itself; enveloping him in a cold, ghostly touch, they were beckoning his meanings with theirs.

Endlessly, the crawl went on. Disappearing through the reveries and searching for a place to shelter himself from the rain, to keep the chill out, to kill the shivers and the haunting presence of a house he could sense he was heading to.

Suddenly, the whispers stopped to make sense, suddenly they lost their importance.

There was someone getting out of the house he was crawling to. A familiar figure... he could not yet see his face, but he could see through the opacity of his skin, see the tattoo burning onto his cheek, see the blonde hair that was hanging in spikes, see the SeeD uniform keeping his body sheltered from the rain. He could see those brilliant, blue orbs looking around to find some kind of comfort in the surroundings that he knew so well.

"Sir? Can I help you?"

A name was building inside of his lungs, and with the bloodied coughs, it was rising; scratching his throat endlessly for release, it was prodding his tongue to move and shape the letters; to find meaning.

"ZELL!" he screamed, not being able to completely comprehend the ferocious rage that was absorbed into his voice. Somehow, the shapes and the sounds stopped distorting themselves, and laid the scene down in front of him, to walk, to rush, to punch, to kill, to kill, to kill...

"No!" Zell shouted, instinctively taking a step backwards, a step away from him.

"Yes..." he said, feeling that smile creeping up onto his lips, he chuckled, "It's me."

"Squall! But you could not have made out of that explosion! Three Ragnaroks and you're still alive? It's impossible!"

"Impossibility is my forte, my friend." Squall replied, rising to his feet, and clenching his fists at his sides, "After all, all the things I had done were impossible to their core; Knighting a being I had sworn to destroy, and all else! Sometimes, Zell, I wonder if it was all a dream. Maybe this truly is a dream..." his eyes had grown out of focus, he was spacing out, and with that lost gaze, he made Zell shiver and fear for Squall's own mind, rather than his own, "...I still don't know. I thought Selphie could show me that fine line between reality and dream. But she couldn't."

"What... what did you do to Selphie?" Zell asked, feeling fury and disgust, alongside with concern and fear rise inside of him, "What?"

"She's very much alive, my dear friend... she told me all about your little fling, though... Ahh, and that Irvine had a hard time restraining himself while you two, as puny were you, gave into your desires... But sure enough, I'd love to see her writhing underneath whom takes her as a best friend..."

"I... she lied to you, you idiot!" Zell said, feeling his words sinking in like syringes full of poison, "There was no such thing!"

"And to think," Squall said, keeping his smile, "You truly were looking for such an opportunity, to find someone who could provide you things beside theoretical knowledge... heh. She 'showed you the ropes' now, did she not..?"

The bite of truth was harder than anything else Zell had ever felt; more than his own fury, more than this deviance he had shown towards sacraments of Selphie, more than her touch, more than the touch of hell itself that should have ended months ago.

"It is quite unexpected of course; who would have known that she was so... happy-go-lucky, yes... Going with the flow, trusting... So submissive."

"Shut up..." Zell said, feeling all the other feelings burning in rage.

"I think you will need a gag for me too..." Squall said, with a smooth, slick tone.

As he smiled genuinely, and Zell inhaled the sense of insanity emanating from his eyes, they both stood alone in the soaking street. The moment embraced them, this touch of truth kept them together, and as Zell felt his anger turn into fear, Squall could find a little solace inside this broken reality. He chuckled, and briefly stood on what had happened before that point; and beyond the point of no return where he was now coming to claim his promise.


	3. 2: Borders and Shading

_**"The Moribund People"**_

**2**

**"Borders and Shading"**

**October 30**

Through the haze and the dark, the pain and the nausea, the unconscious perception and rejuvinated senses, the words faded into her ears. They were in complete harmony, and they carried such a sadness in them that, she could not help but feel a teardrop run down her cheek.

_"...She took some pain and started again  
__Started to lose her life before my eyes  
__A heart that never beats for no-one else..."_

"Ugh..." Selphie could let out, when she tried to speak, to ask one of the many questions that had flooded her mind suddenly. Who? How? What? When? But most important of all, where?

The singing voice stopped short, the depth was gone. Now silence took over whatever it was that surrounded them. Selphie... and the stranger in the room.

Her SeeD instincts took over her, her training in Trabia and Balamb, among other things, immediately gave her some information to where she was and in what state. Her thoughts raged on as she felt the ropes binding her. But the knots that she felt were in perfect symmetry. An alignment she knew so well, an alignment she enjoyed just too much. Hogtied. Beneath her was a wooden floor. Her clothes were still intact. Her hair was disheveled and her light makeup was smeared across her face. She wasn't bruised, but her limbs were aching due to inactivity and being tied.

"So, you've come to..."

Selphie moved her head slightly, as much as she could manage to see a pair of black shoes, with square soles and black, classical-cut pants that united with those shoes. The shoes were in a position that made her understand that the owner had probably crossed his legs, or had been sitting on a ledge.

"Who the hell... are you..?" Selphie managed to get out. Her throat was dry, and it was pressuring the words out rather than speaking them.

"You truly don't know..?" the stranger asked in return.

Selphie's ears put some amount of recognition into her mind, but not complete. Something was missing, something that wasn't supposed to be there was there, something was _misplaced. _She could not quite put her finger on it. Somewhat strange, somewhat foreign to her, but, at the same time, somewhat familiar.

Selphie decided to shift her position, and take a look upwards. By managing to move herself a little, her eyes met the black t-shirt covering the torso of the stranger; the long, black trench coat that covered his body. And upwards, was disheveled, shoulder-length brown hair and two orbs of pure ice; made of helplessness and lack of guidance. Those eyes full of loneliness and pain; two broken windows.

And in between the eyes, rested a scar she knew as well as the style of bondage applied to her.

"Squall!" Selphie gasped, "It's you!"

"Is it?" he asked.

Squall then picked her up, using the ropes, and placed her onto a nearby table. Like an appendege, like a lamp, or a dinner plate. He walked to the window, and then, sat alongside the ledge, looking through the broken window.

"What are you doing, Squall?" Selphie asked, ignoring the feeling rushing back at her, and sheer thrill of being helpless giving her a fresh spike of life; not just her, but her desires as well. "Destroying SeeD wasn't enough? Destroying our lives wasn't enough? Taking away the world as it was wasn't enough? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"

"I just want to wake up." Squall said.

Selphie found confusion in her waking thoughts; those that needed to be embraced and those that were excess at that moment. She jumped through the excess, jumped through her aging, jump through her lust, and found rationality. She had to pursue it. She had to ask.

"To wake up?"

"Have you ever had a dream that you were sure it was forever..? A dream from which there is no waking... a dream where you watch yourself, trapped beneath a cage made of the fourth walls, watching yourself do what you are doing, hating yourself for it? Screaming to stop yourself, begging to wake up... never awakening. I am not sure whether this life is a dream, or that other life was one. I felt myself awaken, I felt myself sleep, I felt myself _want _to sleep. And then, finally, sleep took me. And it didn't release me. I tiptoed the borders and the shading, that blurred line between awakening and sleep. I _felt_ myself sleep. I can't wake up. I see myself there, lying in that dark grave, and I'm screaming at myself, at the top of my lungs. Screaming to me, 'Wake up'. Just... wake up."

"What does all that mean?"

"I am trying to wake up. I can't. I know I'm sleeping. I know this is a dream that I'm trying to make real. And all of you - you, Quistis, Zell, Irvine... all are keeping me from awakening. Guarding the door. The door I'm trying to find. To let myself out. To let myself awaken."

"This isn't a dream, Squall! This is reality! You are not sleeping!"

"Can you show me the fine line between reality and a dream..?" Squall asked, his voice wandering off, lost in a story of its own, "Can you teach me how to drown..?"

"To drown..?"

"Yes, to drown. I'm floating in the dream, refusing to sink down. Refusing to break my wings... If I can drown in reality, maybe I can wake up... maybe this dream - no, this _nightmare _can end then."

"Squall you... you know if it's a dream or not. You feel it... you-you know it somehow, through and through." Selphie could say, thinking of what could be said to get herself out of his grasp.

_He clearly is mad! Insane! Off his head! I must... get out... I have to get out of here!_

Selphie felt panic rise to her throat, take her vocal chords and force out a desperate scream; despite herself, she was struggling to shake loose the bonds, to find the ground with her feet in order to get up, to run, to get away and put some distance between herself and this... man... that she didn't know. That she feared that she knew once. That she feared she still knew. However, panic was more destructive than productive to her, with each movement, with each struggle, the bonds were tightening. A sudden feeling of immense claustrophobia came over to her. The walls were approaching each other; the ground rising, the ceiling falling. She couldn't breathe. Her breath was stuck in her throat. It wasn't coming in; nor was it going out. She was losing her life, her vision was blurred until a sharp voice stopped her.

"Stop that..."

Selphie suddenly felt herself exhale; and her entire life escaped with that breath - visions of the past, words of the present and... abstract shapes that may have belonged to the future flooded her mind. She could feel herself being overwhelmed in this war where there were no trenches, no clear sides, no battleground or flags to represent the sides which collided with such intensity that shook her from her head to her toes.

"Squall... let me loose... please..."

"Can you show me the line..? Can you... can you draw me the line?"

"Please..."

"CAN YOU?"

Squall's foot landed on Selphie's head, and Selphie felt her nose collide with the wooden floor, breaking, starting to bleed.

"DRAW ME THIS LINE!"

Squall's foot continued to rise and fall onto her head, all the time, all Selphie could hear was the screams, the sounds of her own head starting to crack. All she could feel was her own teeth breaking one by one, her jaw being dislocated, her nose being punched back, her forehead collapsing, her own pain her own pain her own

_The line... it's there..._

Selphie was feeling her own skull cracking and her spinal chord slipping away her throat being shattered her own mind collapsing upon itself and he was screaming something that she could not hear or see or feel or taste or touch or smell or take or give or let out and in the end with all the promises and the strength in the world she was just feeling nothing as if that was what it was just nothing

NOTHING

* * *

_Author's Notes: Yeah, took me forever to write this, I know. But I just want this piece to be special, because it probably is my final FFVIII fanfic. The song Squall is singing (and will continue to sing) is _Charon's _hit _"Little Angel"._ I chose the song due to its closeness with how Squall saw Rinoa; as an angel. As for the title ofthis chapter, I sought to use the name of an_ In Flames_ song, which had the line;_ "You're so far behind, be my hero; drift away. Save yourself, don't end up zero; coz I look the other way."._ Not to get stuck on quotes, but I also used a _Static-X _quote; sort of. Taken from the song, _"Love Dump" _. Last but not least, probably, the biggest inspiration came from Dream Theater's song Panic Attack; _"All wound up, on the edge, terrified". _THE LAST PART OF THE CHAPTER MAY NOT, I REPEAT, MAY NOT BE USED IN ANY WAY._


	4. 3: Touch of Red

_**"The Moribund People"**_

**3**

**"Touch of Red"**

**November 3**

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

"Come on already, I can take your best shot!"

Zell's shout echoed through the streets of Balamb as his feet worked their magic; working as pistons to close the distance in between them quickly. The rain picked up a frantic pace, and the darkness ascended to the highest of skies; shrouding the stars above them.

"YOU GO TO HELL!"

"Care to join me?"

Squall stood there simply, watching his opponent draw near. Zell could see the genuine smile, head cocked sideways, hair clouding eyes, but the lips! The lips that were curled sliglthy screamed of superiority. Zell pushed the thoughts of his appearance aside and concentrated on his attack. He leaped forward, losing all gravity in an attempt to succeed in a flying kick.

Squall turned sideways and put his left foot on the ground while swinging his entire body in a full circle; during which his right foot rose and his leg collided with Zell's stomach. Zell grunted in the sudden pain, the wind was knocked out of him. Squall's leg pushed Zell on his back, to the ground.

"That was my signature move!"

"Who do you think taught me that..?" Squall smirked.

_He knows my moves! This is... gonna turn out bad... Hell. You got yourself in big trouble this time, Zell..._

"Come on, _chicken-wuss._" Squall stated, with an emphasis that only Seifer could have managed; but his was ten times worse. "Don't keep me waiting."

Zell's legs drew two seperate circles in the air, as he used his back to lift them upwards, kicking Squall's legs out of the way. Squall lost balance, but his hand helped him push his body to the wall. His feet hit the wall and he used it as a support - whilst turning his upper torso upwards, he spun his right leg and caught Zell square on the cheek; making three of his teeth fly out of his mouth alongside with blood. Zell stumbled, but managed to keep a fragile balance. Squall was advancing with a strut; slow and confident.

"You-" Squall couldn't finish his sentence because Zell's foot had collided with his nose, breaking it. Zell's next move was a powerful punch, mixed with a Firaga spell, landing onto Squall's stomach to send him crashing against the wall. Not stopping, Zell used Thundaga this time, on his free hand and punched Squall with it. Rising his foot, he landed a series of kicks, all of them to Squall's face; each time, drawing more blood and giving him more bruises, and smashing his skull against the wall.

With each kick, he screamed. Screamed out the remaining purity of his soul; FOR his soul, he screamed. For both their souls. Zell shouted and wailed and groaned and grunted and moaned and shrieked and breathed in and breathed out, all the while, lost in a prayer.

_Hyne save me! Hyne save his soul! HYNE! GREAT HYNE IN HEAVEN!_

"Had enough yet?" Zell asked, panting with the great effort he had spent on beating on his face. He stood there, ready to fall, but still feeling the crippling rage running through his veins. The rage brought a feverish head to him; a head lost in the sense of fury, always and only calculating the damage it can do, and whatever it can do _in that moment. _Zell didn't stop, he continued his spree; two punches and two kicks all in a move of spinning motion; his Tornado Combo. And then, punches to his face; two kicks knocking his head sideways, two to return and finally, a punch to crush his head between his gloves and the wall.

After which, Squall slowly slid down, his eyes were closed. He fell onto the floor, his face looking to the sky, blood staining his cheeks and lips. Zell bent down to pick him up, his hands reaching for his collar. He found the cloth, and pulled him upwards. As he did, Squall's fist rose and collided with Zell's jaw, breaking it, but furthermore, stretching the skin on his with the impact; a chin which finally threw itself away from the rest of the head with the force applied to it. Squall's diabolical smile flashed before Zell's eyes as his life started to bleed away through what once was his mouth. Ounces of blood, it seemed, was flowing.

"Was that your best shot..? I barely felt that." Squall stated, "But, then again, I believe Selphie felt much more than what you made me feel, heh. Ironic... how I did to her what you tried to do to me; the crushing of a skull. It's a beautiful sound. You should listen to it sometime. Broadens your horizons."

Before Zell's eyes, Squall approached. On her lips was the familiar words of a song he was singing; the song that was etched to the depths of his brain, the depths of his dreams and his nightmares.

_"Pain... I take it all, and have some more... tonight...  
__Fire... it licks the skin but heart is cold...  
__A heart that never beats for herself..."_

Zell's arms, hands, were all stained with the touch of red. His head was already swimming, his tongue swirling in the new empty space presented to him, his vocal chords moving to speak, his hands trying to cover up his upper jaw to stop the blood flow.

"But, then again, I guess I should help you with that." Squall said, "After all, we are SeeDs. Comrades." his fingers gripped Zell's head, like a ball. And the fingers started to squeeze. Zell let out an unintelligible sound through whatever mouth he had left. His fingers started to collapse the structure of bone beneath the hair and the skin, and his brain was squeezing itself inwards.

Squall was speaking.

"You see, if I crush your spinal cortex, it'll be no fun. I could have done that with a bullet; or a _finger _at your current state. Now, this way, you get to see what your little slave got through. But hers was faster of course."

_SQUALL YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU DIDN'T! YOU COULD NOT HAVE!_

"Sshhhh..." Squall whispered to Zell's ear as blood slowly started to leak out of his ears, "Hushh... Hush, my pretty pet. Shh shh shh... Don't scream. It's gonna be over soon. There'll be a new flower field for you to meet your_ friends _in..."

Squall's jaw clenched to an even wider smile.

Then, it suddenly shifted to a frown, a menacing scowl as he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"...A FIELD FULL OF CYPRESS TREES! FOR THE DEAD ONLY!"

Zell's skull finally imploded upon itself; his eyes popped out of his head and fell onto the floor, rolling away in the whirlpools like marbles. His ears fell, and his head turned into an empty sack of shattered pieces of bone, with his intracranial fluid and blood leaking out through the new orifices in his body. His body fell down, empty.

"What a waste..." Squall stated.

The wind picked up a steady pace, and flowed with him; pushing him gently with his steps headed towards his promise; his sacrament which he intended to claim.

The wind blew towards Balamb Garden, and whirled around it; embracing it like a mother.

* * *

_Notes: The title of the chapter is an In Flames song. Squall's compulsion of singing "Little Angel" by Charon is continuing. I have found a good outline to get through this in one piece; and not make it too far-fetched. Only two dead bodies to go anyway._


	5. 4: My Sweet Shadow

_**"The Moribund People"**_

**4**

**"My Sweet Shadow"**

**September 29**

Oh yes, for long I have thought about this. Only to find that I had no choice but to. There never was a choice, maybe; maybe it was all part of the dream I have created and couldn't tear down. Ever since I heard that song... that song which brought me my sweet shadow; the essence, the very core of that which keeps me bound to this world.

It fed me, through and through. Feeding on it, was just like breathing; as if the song was the air I breathed. The song that stayed etched in my brain ever since... that day.

_Little angel, your world can be so cruel  
__I set your wings on fire everynight I see you cry...  
__Pain... I take it all, and have some more...  
__Tonight...  
__Fire... it licks the skin but heart is cold  
__A heart that never beats for herself_

_Little angel!  
__Your world can be so cruel!  
__I set your wings on fire everynight  
__I die for you, everytime I see you cry..._

_Rain... I shower in her drops of tears...  
__Tonight...  
__All for our pain...  
__She craved for more but have it all  
__She took some pain and started again  
__Started to lose the life before my eyes  
__A heart that never beats for no-one else!_

_Little angel!  
__Your world can be so cruel!  
__I set your wings on fire everynight  
__I die for you, everytime I see you cry..._

Oh yes. I do remember. But it seems like a dream... or the reality itself that I just can't face. I guess, in the end, I don't completely know. All I know is the blur, and the void of it.

I don't completely know how. All I remember is _her. _My little angel. My precious, precious dreamer. My beautiful one, whom I would never betray; no matter what that wretched SeeD commanded me to. My pretty one... my sweet shadow...

I love her. I loved her. Among all the days ever since, there is the face of that other one, that I took a promise from, gave a promise to. But _she _was much more precious to me, as the other one no longer was.

I never wanted to be what _the others _saw. I never was what they saw. They saw a man with a broken will. They saw a man under complete control. But that is not true. I never was controlled. It's just an excuse I made up when I fell asleep; that it was easier to see it that way. What was harder, was to look at a face, more beautiful than ever imaginable, and see disappointment. I protected her from her own emotions. I was her Knight; her protector, her saint. Her touch, tender and harsh at times, was the only thing I needed in this world.

Oh, but you see, I protected her. I never harmed her, or let myself be used.

I protected her from the loneliness she would face; if she had to face SeeD all by herself. I protected her from the immense desolation of ascension. I protected her... stood by her, and gave her the only thing she needed to be herself, to show her true face to all; love.

Four words echoed on and on in our days within her keep. Four words that reminded me there were no friends, no warmth besides us, nothing more than me, and her. I whispered other words to her, four other words.

She whispered to me, _fithos lusec wecos vinosec. _I whispered to her _one, two, me and you. _Lullabies to help us feel the warmth that SeeD tried to freeze. To thaw their hatred, and the icy reception that emerged from it, we held onto each other.

I protected my sweet shadow. I was hurt by her; but not her actions or physical hurt, no. I was hurt by my inability to cure her loneliness. My own vulnerability to the same thing; the fucked up feeling of never being able to help. Not completely, no. No, no, no.

But then, I discovered that, I could stand by her side. Forever and until forever ended. That could ease her loneliness; I could protect her.

When SeeD came, I fought for her. They weren't there to help her; to warm her heart. They were there to destroy her; push her into Death's arms - the loneliest place existent.

And that was when I saw the others as what they were. There were no friends in that war; no acquaintances, no loves, no infidelity or perversions.

Only enemies.

And I took and gave a promise from one of them. She can't justify now, what she did.

She didn't keep her promise.

So didn't they.

But, I have.

I still remember it; like a fire to be fed in the long winter nights.

_"Even if the whole world stands against you, I will be your Knight."_


	6. 5: A Touch of Blessing

_**"The Moribund People"**_

**5**

**"A Touch of Blessing"**

**November 3**

He entered the dark citadel that he saw in his dreams with slow steps that briefly splashed the water around. He entered this demonic place under the rain; bent, but not broken.

Balamb Garden's shadows embraced him; and carried his determination in the arms of a cold promise. The dead shadows swirled around him, but his steps, weren't interrupted by them. The demons that swirled, spiraled and changed shape behind him let loose their diabolical smiles, their blazing eyes full of mad joy, and their claws eager for the blood he was about to shed on their behalf.

Their dissonant laughters filled the empty corridors; as the presence of this man brought only so much pain to fit into such a place.

Emptiness had engulfed the open area. The fountain was desolate; the marble floors, the directory, the seats around it were all deserted. The cold breeze pushed the raindrops towards him, and his weapon. The raindrops hit him in his face; but his eyes and lips only savored the salty, yet clear taste.

The sound of rain drowned all else.

He was in the quiet place now.

His eyes scanned the area; looking at the inside of the citadel. The slight blur of the dream did not disturb him. The haze revealed such a terribly lonely place. There were none but the old prayers that rested in this citadel. The chapels were now all but echoes; echoes of the murmurs, screams, shouts, and all else that engulfed it.

He thought he could pray. He bent down onto his knees; and united his palms. Feeling the darkened disturbance, and the eerie feeling of the citadel embrace him, he bowed his head down. His hair covered up his face, and droplets kept on dropping as his demons did the same.

"Ayreona..?" his lips let out; no more than a broken whisper, "Ayreona, are you there..? Ayreona, if you can't help me, I can't stand this... I have been lonely all this time, trying to crawl through this wreckage... Ayreona, I'm too old for games. I'm so weary of this crusade, always the crusade, that never helped me at all. Hyne... please help me through... help me..."

Tears, tearing through his cheeks, and joining the whirlpools below. His sadness wrecked through him; shaking his body with sobs and broken promises, continuing to fall through his lips; only as insane babble and blubbering.

But suddenly, his tears ceased. His sealed lips, parted to reveal his clenched teeth. Snarling, he stood up; opening his arms to his sides, screaming to the skies and to the dark corners of the citadel.

"I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO EASE HER PAIN!"

The scream echoed.

"AND I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, THAT HAS HELPED HER SADNESS, TWO YEARS OF SIMPLE LULLABIES THAT WERE NEVER FULL OF LIFE!" his tears rose to his face one more time, "Never... Damn desolate. But I knew then, that my love couldn't do it; my stare wouldn't help her, my embrace was only a wisp of air... I'm her true love... Oh Hyne..."

Rage and sadness collided; held him in a tight rope and pushed him into a rip tide. He shook; he shook himself to pieces, for the final time; for his broken mirror was only a pile of dust. He let go of all that filled his heart at once, but his words; oh yes, his words continued to pierce through the silence... his words that were sharper than a blade.

"I BROKE DOWN! I GAVE IN, and I let it happen, I let it flow! Did it ever matter to you at all? That I wasn't strong enough? I could barely, BARELY love her with my true heart, SHOW HER MY TRUE SMILE! But you all know, don't you..? You all know! Piece by piece I lost my sanity; so did you! The love of Ayreona; the love for LIFE! Piece by piece you lost your true faces! You all TURNED YOUR BACKS AND WATCHED US DO IT TOO, SO YOU COULD JUST TAKE YOUR KNIVES; AND PUSH THEM IN! GO TO HELL! GET OUT OF THIS CITADEL, SHOW YOUR FACES; SO YOU WON'T BEG FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE ME ANYMORE; SO YOU WON'T FIGHT THIS WAR AGAINST YOURSELVES ANYMORE! COME ON, DO IT! This is the true agony you all saw... WHEN IT ALL CRASHES DOWN, WILL THERE BE HEARTS BIG ENOUGH FOR A TOUCH OF BLESSING? Not a tear... not a smile... Where is your support? Where is your help? Where is your GUIDANCE? The love of Ayreona? The love for Death? None... just agony... that rages in my heart..."

His snarl reached its peak, and with his lungs; he released his last breath with the air that filled him with her scent ever since.

"I hate you!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_Author's Notes: The title is an Evergrey song, and the chapter itself was written while I listened to Evergrey's "When the Walls Go Down"; the final song of their album, "The Inner Circle". As of now, here is Squall Leonhart's pain... alongside with the previous chapter, which carries the name of an In Flames song, this sums up what he has felt._


	7. 6: Dial 595Escape

_**"The Moribund People"**_

**6**

**"Dial 595-Escape"**

**November 3**

...That was when Irvine stepped up. From the corner he had hid in; from his hiding place. He straightened his cowboy hat, and cocked the hammer of his Exeter backwards. His steps started to echo. Step by step by step, he approached Squall Leonhart... or what this man once was in his mind. Now, his green eyes only saw a broken man; the edge of sanity and the core of insanity; all placed together in this black creature... this hollow shell of a man who still carried a gunblade alongside with him.

"Squall!" he called out.

Squall's head turned towards Irvine. Slowly, the strands of his hair gave way for his eyes. Irvine shivered as they made eye-contact through the darkness. His face; contorted in fear, loss, agony and sorrow, revealed a pair of ice-blue eyes... standing in their sockets like the sphere mirrors; broken, shattered to pieces. The mind behind it was no more; it was consumed and destroyed. Utterly and completely.

"Irvine..?" Squall asked, his voice tearing through the rain.

"It's me... It's just you and me now."

"I guess, that's true."

A lightning lit up the Garden very briefly, the blinding light causing Irvine to lose sight of Squall for a split second. When the light faded, Irvine's eyes saw the smile on his lips.

And the gun, now separated from the blade, in his hand.

"Do you want to live..?" Squall asked, his eyes growing hazy and distant.

"What?" Irvine asked, in blind confusion.

"If you want to live, pick up your phone, and dial 595 - ESCAPE. That's the only way, Irvine. Get away before I can find you and destroy you."

"No." Irvine refused.

"Did it not come clearly? Did I not make myself clear to you? Run, or die. The choice, is yours."

Irvine watched him, and saw himself. A vigilante, a lonely soldier. Both with guns; ready to go off, and pointing at each other. They were very much alike. But the denial he had bred inside of himself, stood up for the acceptance of their fates, and their positions.

A war inside themselves.

"Pull the trigger." Squall snickered, suddenly.

The warm silence was shattered to pieces.

"What?" Irvine responded.

"Come on, pull it! What's the matter? Your balls fell short?"

"I don't want to kill you..."

"That's too bad."

"Is it?"

"Yeah..."

Squall's arm suddenly relaxed and his arm lowered itself; removing the crossair from Irvine's face. Irvine found enough courage to sigh in relief.

"...cause, after all the shit Selphie pulled with Zell, I thought _you, _of all people would want your reward for their deaths. You know..."

"What... are you talking about?"

"Oh, you don't know? Oh come on, Irv; have a heart. You are really that much of a stranger to the more extremes? Like, say, BDSM?"

"What?"

"Yeah. Selphie found out that she was a sub; as in, submissive. And Zell, well... hell, he turned out to be a dom, as in, dominative. They both enjoyed the ropes and the whips; and the more rough action after."

"That's not true..."

"Check their rooms, will ya? But, no matter now. You see, we are one in the same."

"You..."

"Yeah... like me, you don't have the love of your life in life anymore."

Irvine felt anger erupt in him; like a devilish flame, it set ablaze his mind, and took over his senses. His face started to burn; and his finger tightened on the trigger.

"THAT WAS YOU!" Irvine screamed.

The gunshot blasted apart within the darkness, and the bullet tore through the air; swirling, and bouncing off the raindrops that collided with it. With determination, the bullet entered Irvine's right shoulder blade, and the impact made him take a shabby step backwards; trying to hold onto his balance, and to tolerate the pain that had exploded all across his arm.

Squall's calm, serene, and intensely superior smile started to come at Irvine; he saw that smile close in, as Squall was now closing in the distance between them with great haste. Irvine tried to lift his gun; but there wasn't enough space between them to take a shot. Uselessly, he continued that motion until Squall's hand gripped the back of his head, throwing the hat off it. Squall's free hand punched away Irvine's rifle, and Irvine found the barrel of Squall's gun in his mouth.

"Hello, Irvy!" Squall squeaked in a perfect imitiation of Selphie's voice; "Remember me? I'm your little whore!" Squall's snarl was as vicious as the gun in Irvine's mouth; "I broke her skull to pieces; shattered that beautiful face before I noticed that all that filth that filled her up was making her what she was! Her endless feed on passion and lust brought her to a point where she could not have fucking seen what I had in mind for her! And you! You with you stupid fucking thoughts and blindness in every aspect showed me the way you all ignored my true love for the pain it brought; YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Another gunshot blasted apart his words; taking the echoes away.

Squall waited until the convulsions ceased. Then, he let the shattered skull of Irvine down; and watched it hit the floor, uselessly. The large hole that had been opened from the inside, revealed pieces of his jaw, his shattered spine, bits of his brain and blood and broken skin. His eyes, were still open with fear. His body was now being cleaned by the rain.

Squall opened up his arms to the sides; as if he was inviting something to embrace him. And then, he screamed the name he had kept inside of himself for so long.

"QUISTIS!"


	8. 7: But A Dream

_**"The Moribund People"**_

**7**

**"...But A Dream (Quistis' Promise)"**

**November 3**

"QUISTIS!"

The shout echoed on and on, endlessly and emptily. No answer came at first. However, he could feel the sting of a pair of blue eyes; watching him intently. He could almost feel fear and regret emanating from those eyes which he could not find in this darkness. He felt it through his bones as his eyes searched the dark shadows for the owner of the two eyes he knew... and craved for.

Squall remained silent, and listened alone. From beneath the shadows, a set of feet started the clicking sound of high-heeled boots. His ever-alert ears also registered another sound beneath; a couple of sounds. The faint brush of wet cloth to a marble surface. The uneasy sighs that kept on decorating her presence. The brief clicking sound of a hammer.

The cold sound of a bullet taking its place in the chamber.

Squall smiled.

Quistis stepped out from where she hid, and in between them stood the great cold distance; the distance that she had never allowed herself to cross... except for that one time when all else seemed meaningless. But now, things that held meaning seemed as if they were but a dream...

...Quistis was awake.

"Squall..." she whispered.

"So, you came..." Squall replied.

He looked at her; his eyes bathed in her presence - the shrouded reality of her underneath the rain. She was wearing a long, black trench coat. Her shirt, with the top three buttons open, was white. Black, classical-cut pants embraced her thighs like a glorious lover, and her boots, the same boots, stood their ground. Her long, blonde hair was soaking wet with the rain; her blue eyes were determined. Determined to pull the trigger of the gun that rested in her palm.

"Yes..." Quistis replied, every word a choking bit of the past she had held on to, "I came."

"But you are too late. The others are all dead." Squall replied, chuckling, "They are all gone to that place... that other place, which I have never seen. They told me it was peaceful, and quiet. Not lonely, no; not lonely as this dream. I finally came to the end of this. You are the only one that stands in my way."

"And, if I fall..?" Quistis asked.

She had never felt so final.

Squall smiled gently, "If you fall, I will reach the door. I will hesitate; just a bit, though. Then, I will open the door, and cross the threshold to the otherside. I will wake up from this dream... this, nightmare... this, hallucination; whatever you want to call it, it's just tiring me. I'm so tired from this sleep. I want to wake up."

"Then, I should help you rest."

Quistis rose the gun. Slowly, her accurate aim found Squall's heart; that heart she desired to touch... so long ago; too long, it seemed like just a memory, or a distant fantasy to her now. Squall's gun countered her move.

"You wanted me to do something..." Quistis said, swallowing her sorrow, "Remember?"

"Yes..." Squall said, his smile disappearing. Suddenly, his old voice; that voice of distance and the cold resurfaced, "I remember..."

"You told me something that day... that..." Quistis could not go on; but Squall continued.

"I want you to save the world for me... I want you to save the world _from _me..."

Quistis felt bitter tears sting her eyes, and choke her throat. It was as if nothing had happened, no time had passed. Quistis felt as if they were still on that soilent cliff made of stone; with weapons pointing at each other; with the warm intimacy of their mutual understanding, their friendship and love towards each other still hanging on... by a thin thread, but still, it was there.

It was _still_ there.

Squall smiled. Quistis closed her eyes. She pulled the trigger.

A single gunshot cracked in the silence like a whip.

As the smoke from her gun rose to the air, Quistis opened her eyes. Squall wasn't standing in front of her. She panicked for a moment; fear gripped her soul tight. She ran towards where he was, just a second ago. When she reached there, she saw that, he had fallen. Lying on his back, with a bleeding wound in his chest. She knelt down besides him; her gun dropping uselessly.

She looked at Squall's face. It was the face of a man who was tired; intensely so, and only wanted some rest, some peace; to be somewhere away from his pain and sorrow. To be in a quiet place.

"I think..." Squall said, "I saw... symptoms of mercy."

"Squall..."

"No... I did see them..."

"I..."

"All alone... All along, all I wanted to find was the door... all I wanted to do was to awaken... But now I know." his voice grew a bit childish; as if he was, sadly, mocking himself, "I never was sleeping, was I..?"

"You should have known that." Quistis said, simply.

"I know now... do I know it, yes..."

Quistis was torn in her emotions; in her dilemmas, and her constant search for his love, his lips. But suddenly, all she could let out, was a part of the song; the song that Squall had sang to her once... a lifetime ago.

_"Don't ask me why, I don't want to feel like forever young, anymore...  
__Just catch my fault, before I crawl on the floor...  
__Is it so radical... after all..?"_

Squall's smile rested on his lips; and the signs of his tired soul, surfaced to show their faces to Quistis.

"Quistis..." he whispered; only a shallow whisper, too low, too far... fading.

"Yes..?"

"Do something for me... please..?"

"Anything! Squall, anything!"

"Just... let me sleep."

Squall Leonhart closed his eyes; and released his last breath.

Quistis watched the thin wisp of air that left his mouth and vanished, slowly into the night. The sound of the rain shrouded all else; and she couldn't tell whether it was the rain or her tears that trickled down her cheeks.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_Author's Notes: If you remember, the prologue was named as "Death Is..." and here, it's complete - "Death Is But A Dream". The song Quistis sings to Squall is named "Radical" and it is by The 69 Eyes. The title is not a song from anyone. And here, the promise that has been stuck in Squall's mind is revealed; Quistis' Promise._


	9. Epilogue: A Penny's Worth of Heart

"_**The Moribund People"**_

**Epilogue**

**"A Penny's Worth of Heart"**

**ONE YEAR LATER**

A year has passed since then.

Sometimes, in my dreams, I still hear his last words; but this time, he just falls asleep, and wakes up, smiling. In my dreams, he smiles truthfully, and the people we used to know walk up to us; still alive. We walk and talk and laugh and cry together in those dreams; back in that place we used to call home.

I cry at night, sometimes; just lying awake. But everytime, my tears turn into laughters, and Seifer wakes up, by my side, and laughs with me. Then, when I start to cry again, he holds me to his arms, and tells me all the things that I need to hear in this world. His conviction to me, and his love kept me safe from the abuse Squall has taken into his heart, with all his heart. Seifer's love kept me safe from the horrid reality of Squall Leonhart.

We talk about him, every so often. On long nights, or winter. We talk about the man he used to be; the man he would always be in our minds. There is only one day that we do not speak at all; and on that day, Matron joins us as we take our nice dresses, and walk into a garden made of headstones. Matron, Seifer and I weep at his grave; and the graves all others. All those that we held dear.

In those days, Matron tells us about the loss of all; even those that we hold dear. She tells us that in the orphanage of hearts that she had revealed to us, there are still only laughters. But, with sadness in her voice, she tells us that the laughters echo longer each time she hears them; and that the adopted hearts fall to silence after a while.

A year has passed since that day.

And here I am, standing in front of his stone, with orchids in my hand, and tears in my eyes. The familiar grief, the all-too-familiar chill of his vacancy. The void of him.

"I'm here, Squall..." I say to him, "I came..."

I tell his cold stone of a face everything that happened ever since he left. All that has changed since he left this world. I tell him, that there isn't much change; only some grow older and some grow colder. I tell him everything, until my words start to fail me.

I stand at a loss for words.

Suddenly, there is this presence, by my side. I know that if I turn around, I will see him. His right hand stands on my shoulder, as his free hand rests on his hip. His mid-riff furry jacket, his leather pants, his brooding frown and scar. He is just as I remember him.

I ask, my voice shaking with hope, and fear, "Squall..?"

Whatever the presence is, it is now gone. I smile, briefly. I feel the words, and I blow them into the air; kissing them.

"A penny's worth of heart..." I say, "...Hyne, it's so precious."

The wind takes my words away.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_  
Author's Notes: And there you have it, the end of "The Symtoms Trilogy" (Symtpoms of Mercy, Mind Fields, The Moribund People). The love, fall, redemption of a man. Heh, I'm so pompous. On the other hand, the song that takes the title with the epilogue, is strangely, the second song of Peccatum's album "The Moribund People"; "A Penny's Worth of Heart". This, most probably is my final fanfiction. I'll look around though._


End file.
